Men have changed. Of this, there is no doubt. Men no longer occupy a traditional hunter-gatherer role, at least not in modern, western society anyway. In a lot of ways, they still perform aspects of this role but in a seriously diluted way. I know some may argue that men are still the main providers for the family so it's just a question of semantics. They are now office managers / service supply organisers. Their pile of metaphorical "firewood" gets bigger with each promotion but does the distance from their true selves grow deeper with each advancement up the hierarchical rung as well?
I would argue that a man's role in modern society has deepened the void within themselves and created a wealth of contradictions and contra-indications that, for some, is difficult to live with. If man's true nature is an outdoor connection and a reminder of their innate wild selves then a failure to connect with this can cause deep issues and fragmentation of a man's psyche and being. A man's life is connected to the earth, grounded in nature and the more divorced they are from this state the more out of balance they become and more prone to issues with their own masculinity and, in extreme cases, susceptible to mental illness as well.
Chuck Pahlanuik's "Fight Club" touches on issues of a man's role in modern society as well as questions of masculinity.
Tyler Durden: Do you know what a duvet is?
Narrator: It's a comforter...
Tyler Durden: It's a blanket. Just a blanket. Now why do guys like you and me know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. What are we then?
Narrator: ...Consumers?
Tyler Durden: Right. We are consumers. We're the bi-products of a lifestyle obsession.
"Fight Club" argues that men have become detached from their own gender, their roles subverted so that they no longer occupy their traditional role and place in society - they have become mere consumers. This has caused a malaise which, in the terms of the book, causes them to seek solace and try and reconnect with their masculinity in a concentrated, distorted way via the underground "Fight Clubs" that are created by the narrator. Also, because women are occupying the hunter-gatherer role more and more this has left men feeling confused and resentful and, as men's traditional role models disappear i.e their fathers take off and the family unit dissolves, they are raised by women and surrounded by women as they grow up resulting in a lack of clarity regarding a sense of their own identity and masculinity. Such men can find themselves in a wilderness in their adult lives wondering what it truly means to be a man. If they are thrust into a family provider role when they haven't grown up with a sense of what that means then there is a risk of things becoming unbalanced if they cannot reconcile their feminine and masculine self as one within.
It is self-evident that men feel a need to be competitive in modern society. This can be seen in countless spectacles in the sporting arena and, in a less overt way in the business arena. They compete with each other for the prize of being top of the heap but they also compete with each other for the affection and attention of women. Perhaps if men knew how to authentically communicate with women they wouldn't feel the need to turn it into a competitive exercise? Just because our society has arranged itself in terms of these set conventions, it does not mean that they cannot be subverted. I ask the question: Why do men feel they cannot be in touch with their feminine aspect? Why are they so afraid of displaying this aspect of themselves, especially when it can play a vital part in allowing the substance that compiles their identity - the core of their being, in fact, to be in harmony so they can exude their true nature and be who they really are?
Some might say that this is an impossible dream. Men must be full of contradiction as it is these contradictions that help make society tick. I think this is, in essence, a load of rubbish. There are too many examples of depressed men who go to their jobs day in, day out, perform the tasks asked of them and then, at night, return home to anaesthetise their brains via video games or alcohol. They can't connect to their partners because they are unwilling to reach out to meet the feminine aspect halfway. Yet the ones who are able to do this often report a great awakening in how they are able to live their lives because they can relate to their partners and women as a whole, authentically.
Perhaps this is the role that men must undertake in modern society: being authentic. They must embrace their feminine aspect so that they can remain balanced and can communicate with women in a balanced way. Be in touch with their connection to the earth and not lost in a false world of office paperwork, video games and the dulling technological and consumer world. This is not the fate of man and if he opens his eyes, he will see this clearly.
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