The truth of addiction and co-dependence - Elliott Smith's lyrics (Part 3)

It's a lot easier to tell the truth usually.
Elliott Smith

While there are many different themes present in Elliott Smith's music, the one overriding thing which dominates his lyrics is a sense of wanting to present the truth of a situation, no matter how grim or difficult to look at it may be. In a way, I think he wants us - the listener - to play the role of the uncomfortable voyeur. In Needle in the Hay from his self-titled second album, we are most definitely in that role. But we are seeing the truth in a desperate person's situation.

He's wearing your clothes
Head down to toes, a reaction to you
You say you know what he did
But you idiot kid, you don't have a clue

This can be interpreted in different ways but essentially it seems to be saying that an addict, a desperate person, can look like you or me 'he's wearing your clothes'. Or it's also saying that the addict in this scenario is mimicking his/her naive partner who doesn't really know or understand how manipulative this person they are with is being. Hence, the 'you idiot kid, you don't have a clue'. Non drug users are sometimes ignorant of the world that the addict inhabits. It is a world of continually spinning lies and half truths so as to represent themselves as normal or the same as you or me. This stops them being discovered, or so they think. However, as I have said above, Elliott Smith wants us to see the truth of this situation and so we are taken on a journey with the addict as he goes to 'score' and, in his fevered brain - 'get well'.

Now on the bus
Nearly touching this dirty retreat
Falling out 6th and powell, a dead sweat in my teeth
Gonna walk walk walk
Four more blocks, plus the one in my brain

The addict is in the throes of withdrawal but knows that he just needs to make it to his dealers house. The line that stands out here is the mental, extra mile he has to go to overcome that psychological barrier, 'Four more blocks, plus the one in my brain' - this is the block that tells him he really shouldn't be doing this but he can't help himself because the addiction is controlling his behaviour. When he is able to finally use, the sense of relief pervades him and he almost turns on those who might criticise his behaviour:

And I don't want to talk
I'm taking the cure
So I can be quiet whenever I want
So leave me alone
You ought to be proud that I'm getting good marks

We can almost believe that he's talking to a parent here as the play on words of 'getting good marks' suggests a double meaning of marks as in school grades but also the needle marks from IV injection. He is mocking society's sense of competition and achievement as a contributing factor to why he is like this himself. Again, this is the truth of how a sub culture sees themselves. Smith is trying to shine a light into this area and allow us to see the truth of what is in there. No it isn't pretty but are addicts less valid or somehow less important because of the choices they make? Some might say this is the case but others might argue there is a certain hypocrisy in criticising their lifestyle choices when addiction is so prominent in so called 'mainstream' society. It's just better hidden there and less obvious because it's not concentrated in an alienated, sub culture of downtown Portland.

Needle in the Hay, is a good example of a Smith lyric which appears to not say much on the surface but reveals a lot when you delve into the motivations surrounding it. Also, it is as much a song about addiction as it is a song about codependence because the addict is with a person who either wilfully or naively does not see the issues with their behaviour. They are too wrapped up in the relationship to notice the huge elephant in the room which is sucking the life out of both of them.

The most obvious parallel to this song is The White Lady Loves You More which comes at the issue of addiction and codependence from a slightly different perspective. This time the partner of the addict knows about their behaviour but it powerless to stop it. They believe they are being sidelined by the power and hold that the 'White Lady' has over their partner:

You just want her to do anything for you
There ain't nothing that you won't allow

The barriers are gone, as are all inhibitions but the song poses a question as to why does the partner choose to stay with the person? They know they will always be second to the drug. And it doesn't seem to matter that the addict knows that their partner is aware of their addiction:

It's a long time since you cared enough for me to even be discrete
I know what this metal is for

The song switches perspectives rapidly, going from the partner to the addict and back again. It seems to end with the conclusion that the addict is a willing slave to the white lady. He wakes up from a disturbing dream where his addiction will be uncovered by the law, hence the policeman flashing the light but deals with this disturbance by running into the comforting arms of the drug.

You wake up in the middle of the night
From a dream you won't remember flashing on like a cop's light
You say she's waiting and I know what for

Again, however, it is important to stress that we shouldn't take literally everything Smith is saying or depicting. In his songs, metaphor is important. Both Needle in the Hay and The White Lady Loves You More are songs that highlight issues of addiction, codependence, truth, relationships, secrecy and lies. The songs are not autobiographical. Smith stated in several interviews that he wrote what he saw whilst living in different places. At the times these songs were written, he was living in Portland, Oregon. He was prominent in the musician community of the time (mid 1990s) and saw a lot of these issues in people around him. Later on, his songs take on a distinctly more autobiographical slant but his early days were all about the metaphor and the characters he liked to paint into the background of his songs.